


Reparably Broken

by justamessedupkid



Category: Charlie's Angels (2019)
Genre: Angst, Angsty Sabina, Elena and Jane are there to support their girl, F/F, Gen, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Multi, One Shot, Sabina thinks she's on her own but she isn't
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-02-22 23:23:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23735416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justamessedupkid/pseuds/justamessedupkid
Summary: Sabina is used to being alone, she always has been. And even though her life has changed for the better since she, Elena and Jane are a team, she's still got secrets. The secrets eat her from the inside out until her mind spirals out of control. But Elena and Jane won't give up on her. Can she overcome her trust issues and open herself up to the two people she loves most in this world?
Relationships: Elena Houghlin/Jane Kano/Sabina Wilson, Elena Houghlin/Jane Kano/Sabina Wilson (platonic but maybe more)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 81





	Reparably Broken

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first story on here so i'm sorry if i mess something up... but i just love these girls so much and i had to write something about them. this is a one shot but with room for more. so let me know what you think. i appreciate your feedback. but for now - i hope you enjoy!

Sabina hadn’t left her room in a full week and Jane and Elena were growing increasingly concerned. In front of her door, there was a pile of empty food delivery cartons and a worryingly big stack of empty bottles.

At first, Jane and Elena were in agreement that it would be best to just give Sabina a bit of space. After all, it was a lot to work and live with the same people all the time.  
And it wasn’t uncommon for Sabina to disappear for one or two days. Elena tried to find out what happened during those episodes once, but Sabina brushed her off and she didn’t dare ask again.

This, however, was different.

This time, Sabina didn’t even react to Boz’ texts or calls. In fact, it seemed like she wasn’t checking her work phone at all, which was not like her.

This time, Jane and Elena would wake from Sabina’s painfilled screams in the middle of the night. But when they knocked at Sabina’s door and tried to open it, desperate to help their friend and teammate, they received no answer, no reaction.

And this time, there was no re-emerging Sabina, full of new energy. So, Jane and Elena made a decision – they wouldn’t rest until they had found a way to help Sabina deal with whatever she was struggling with.

x

Inside her room, Sabina was curled up into a ball and screaming into a pillow, crying. She didn’t know why exactly she was hurting but she was, a lot.

Her chest was tight, almost choking her, but at the same time about to explode. Her head seemed to be filled with a mix of screaming voices and flashing pictures, all trying to capture her attention.

She could make out the voice of her mother, telling her with a certain joy and disdain that she would never be a lady and therefore never be loved. She saw her father’s stone-cold face in front of her, his hand making her arm bruise. And she heard doors being slammed, one after another, refusing entry to a stranded adolescent Sabina.

It had started like a normal breakdown, one of those she was used to. Nothing that one or two days curled up in her room, binge eating and watching shitty rom coms couldn’t make disappear.

It wasn’t good but it happened, and Sabina could usually fill up her brain with useless stuff in order to keep it occupied. And then return to her life that she didn’t think she deserved but craved nonetheless. Her life with Jane and Elena and Boz and Saint.

Of course, she would never tell anyone what actually happened inside her head. She couldn’t do that to the only people who had ever cared about her. Instead, she sealed away her pain with a makeshift tattoo needle in places they would never see.

This, however, was different.

This time, she couldn’t hold in the food and the romantic comedies only made her cry and tremble even more.

This time, the tattoo needle brought only temporary relief and she could barely take two steps before it hit her again.

This time, she spent her days and nights curled up with a bottle of gin, either staring into the void, empty, or crying and screaming because the hurt was just too much.

Sleep was not an option, she had learnt that after waking, screaming and shivering, from a horrid nightmare a few days ago. And so, time went by – not that it meant anything.

x

Jane and Elena didn’t know what to do anymore. They had made all of Sabina’s favourite dishes, read stories and poems in front of her door, even asked Boz to come over and try her best. But nothing worked. Now, they were sitting on their couch in the common space.

“That’s it!”, Jane suddenly declared, making Elena jump.

“What? What do you intend to do? We’ve tried everything, Jane”, Elena sighed.

But Jane didn’t answer and just got up and walked out of the room. Elena rolled her eyes – this was typical Jane, rarely sharing her thoughts – and followed her.  
Jane was in her room and taking something out of a hidden spot in a drawer. Then, without acknowledging Elena’s presence, she left again. Elena was annoyed but curious at the same time, so she kept following her friend.

They were going in the direction of Sabina’s room. Jane took out the items she had brought and began working the lock. They were going to break into Sabina’s room, Elena realised.

“Wait, Jane. Are you sure this is the best idea?” Elena put her hand on Jane’s. Jane didn’t react.

“Jane, listen to me! This is Sabina’s personal space, we can’t-“

“Elena”, Jane interrupted her. “We don’t know what Sabina is going through but it could be bad. I’d rather be wrong and disturb her privacy than be responsible for her hurting herself, ok?”

Elena couldn’t argue with that. In fact, she was as scared as Jane. She hadn’t really slept for days and every thought in her head centred around Sabina. So, she took a step back and let Jane do her thing.

x

Sabina was sat in her bathtub with no idea how she got there. The noises of Jane trying to break the lock on her door had woken her up from her trance.

She began to realise that the bathtub was filled with water – cold water – and that she was wet and shivering. A glance to the side showed her several empty and half-empty bottles of gin, her tattoo gun and some drops of blood.

Shit.

It was too much to take in, but Sabina knew that it was bad. Her brain worked slowly, as if she was wading through mud, as she tried to get up but failed miserably. She couldn’t do anything except sit in the cold water, trembling with pain and confusion, and wait for it all to stop.

x

“Yesss”, Jane whispered as the door finally unlocked.

She and Elena cautiously opened the door, not sure what to expect. But in any event, they couldn’t have been ready for what they saw.

There were several fist-sized holes in the wall and blood drops on the white carpet underneath. The king-sized bed in the middle of the room was chaos. Apparently, some pillows and plushies had taken the fall.

The floor also looked like a battlefield with drawers and their contents emptied out and oftentimes broken, a pile of clothes like a second bed and garbage everywhere. But Sabina was nowhere to be seen.

“Fuck!”, Elena quietly exhaled.

This was serious and she felt her emotions slowly overwhelming her. Jane offered her hand for support and she took it without hesitation. Together, they crossed the room and pushed open the bathroom door.

“Bina?”, Elena called softly but stopped in her tracks as soon as she saw her friend.

Next to her, Jane muttered: “Fuckfuckfuckfuck dammit…”

Both of them wanted to run towards Sabina and hug her until everything was fine but they knew that they had to be careful. So, they pretended like nothing was wrong and walked over to Sabina.

Jane knelt in front of the bathtub and examined the woman in front of her. She seemed weak, her body scarred and beaten up and her eyes empty.

“Hey, Sabina. I’m going to pick you up, is that okay?”, Jane asked as calmly as she could.

As soon as she saw the small nod, she took Sabina in her arms, just like she had done on that day in Istanbul all those months ago. She managed to save her then and she would save her now.

Jane and Elena communicated silently and agreed to take Sabina to Elena’s room which was the most comfortable of all three.

x

Sabina opens her eyes which confuses her because that means she must have fallen asleep. Trying to look back at the past few days, she doesn’t remember much. But there is a cold, wet feeling she still can’t fully shake even though she has checked and her body feels warm and dry.

Her head feels like it might explode – bad, bad hangover – but her senses are slowly starting to function again and she notices she isn’t in her own room.

And she isn’t alone either. There are two warm bodies on her sides. Elena. This is Elena’s room. So- yes, Elena and Jane are asleep next to her. What the hell is happening?

Sabina tries to get up without waking her fellow angels but in the process, she feels her entire body ache. It is at this point that the bandages on her body catch her attention.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

She’s starting to panic but she really has to get her shit together. She staggers towards the bathroom door and closes it behind her. Then, she looks in the mirror and assesses the damage.

Her hands are bandaged. A flashing memory of her hand hitting the wall again and again comes back to her. It’s okay though. She can work with that, explain the wounds somehow.

The bruises on her arms and legs aren’t even worth mentioning, she is so clumsy that she stumbles into furniture all the time.

But what makes tears well up in her eyes is the bandage around her stomach. They’ve seen it. Why are they even still here? Simply to confront her? They are going to leave, she knows that.

Rational thinking, she reminds herself and takes off the bandage. She has to force herself to look at it. Hundreds of tattooed on scars cover her stomach, many of them red and infected, a product of the last days. Some aren’t even tattoos anymore, that’s how far she pushed the needle into her skin.

She is usually more careful with this, after all, she doesn’t want any attention. But this time, she lost herself and there wasn’t anything she could do.

Now, she is especially glad that Jane and Elena are still sleeping. Because it gives her the time to quietly slip away and avoid any potential hurt – on both sides. She quickly dresses again and goes back into the bedroom, fully intending to escape all this.

But the moment she sees her two girls innocently lying there – Jane with an almost comically serious look on her face and Elena’s hand unconsciously feeling for Sabina – she knows that the decision has been made.

She can’t leave. Too much of herself would be lost in the process. And, or at least so she thinks, she is so selfish that she puts that before the hurt and discomfort she is definitely going to cause for Jane and Elena.

And who knows? Maybe this time is different? Maybe the warm and fuzzy feeling that appears every time Jane scolds them or every time Elena is so lost in her programming that she doesn’t notice anything else, maybe this feeling proves that it’s different.

Sabina wants it to be different so bad. And she is ready to try. Because she knows she wants to spend the rest of her life with these two dorks.

But trying means making the first step. Trying means trusting. And maybe, just maybe, everything will be fine then. She has got nothing to lose, so she might as well try.

x

When Jane and Elena are awoken by a determined Sabina jumping onto the bed, they are, to put it mildly, confused. And, almost immediately, the confusion turns into worry.

“Bina! You’re awake! Are you okay? Why-“, Elena can’t stop talking.

At the same time, Jane gently forces Sabina to sit down between the two of them. Then she gestures towards Elena, trying to calm her down. It sort of works, because she stops asking question upon question.

As they concentrate on Sabina, they can make out a sincerity in her eyes that they have never seen before. They know she is about to say something important. Something that costs her a lot of courage.

“Guys”, Sabina begins. “I think… I think I might need your help.”

As soon as it is out, Sabina looks like a weight has been lifted off her shoulders. And Jane and Elena are as supportive as one can be. Elena gently strokes her back and Jane puts her head on her shoulder.

“We’re here”, Jane says. “And we always will be.”

And so, Sabina begins talking.

And with every word spoken, with every part of herself shared, she feels lighter.


End file.
